I’m pretty sure most of us are familiar with “Mr. Spanky.” This was the character presented to kids whenever their naughty sides get the most of them. As time went by, child experts came up with various styles depending on a kid’s environment and psyche. Raising children is one of the hardest tasks in a family since there isn’t any official manual for this. 

While most cultures have their ingrained traditions in raising a family, there is no “one size fits all” system when it comes to parenting. For one, each youngster has unique temperaments, and you can’t expect the same effect for all individuals when you impose just one parenting formula. Given that most, if not all kids love storybooks, some moms would teach good behavior through storytelling. They may read them an animal story with moral lessons or share tales passed down from their ancestors.

Diana Baumrind was a catalyst in the study of child psychology. She came up with 3 parenting styles, which were then revamped into 4. Each of them has different results on a child’s attitude. Let’s discuss each of them.

• Authoritarian

This is most common in conservative family setups and is often led by a patriarchal figure. It imposes a harsh and stern approach to children, which may result in trauma, and often, the child develops this intense fear of making mistakes. The punishment is usually physically executed and leads to abuse. However, not all authoritarian approaches are abusive in nature.

• Authoritative 

It takes after the previous method, but with a little twist. Although rules and boundaries are set, the parent or guardian compromises depending on the situation. Exchange of ideas is encouraged and communication is not one way, compared to its predecessor. Adjustments are also put in place as the kid grows up, and the latter’s independence is encouraged to develop slowly. This style is more supportive in nature than corrective. 

• Permissive

An opposite of the two previous methods, this is devoid of rules and more on the interactive perspective. Barriers are down for both individuals and this takes on a friendlier and more open way of communication. One downside here is that the child can grow up spoiled and without regard for other people’s needs since they’re used to having their needs prioritized. It can also take a toll on the parent because the latter would often give more of themselves to make their children happy.

• Neglectful

This is more of the unresponsive way of parenting where there are no rules, nor communication between the child and the parent. It exhibits a transactional environment where there is little to no interaction at home as if no one gives any regard for each other. This is common in families that have a ton of personal issues that tend to make raising their children properly the least of their priorities. Since the kids become used to no rules in place, they may encounter difficulty following laws in the future.

Which among the above is the most effective and what’s the best way to enforce them?

Before we continue, you must first reflect on what style you are currently doing and the outcome it entails in your kids. Each of the above styles has negative results if overly or incorrectly done. Often, parents fall into the guilt trap and blame themselves when a child develops particular behaviors, which shouldn’t be the case. There will be times that mom can be more authoritarian than yesterday, depending on her mood swing. We’re all human and we’re bound to make mistakes. 

The solution is to be able to switch from one style to another depending on the situation and the child’s mental being. More care and patience should happen between the parent and youngster, especially if the latter has mental health concerns. As parents, self-mastery is vital so you would know when things are overboard or if situations are still safe and sound. Parenting is a long journey because even if our kids grow up, no one can replace us as their parents. It takes dedication and lifelong commitment if we want to ensure that our children grow up to be the best version of themselves.