Photo by Salvio Bhering

July In August by Maryjo Paradis-Smith depicts what it would potentially be like, at its worst, for children living in a broken home and with a parent who does not care for them.

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, 1 in 8 children lived in households where at least one parent has had a past year of substance abuse. It goes without saying but living with a parent who is addicted to drugs means, without ambiguity, living in a broken home. And this can have a very profound impact on a child.

For a lot of children, growing up in a broken home can be a confusing, frightening, and isolating experience. Each day is full of uncertainty and fear like the floor is blanketed in needles, so you have to be careful where you’re walking. The trauma that this leaves on children is unimaginable—and children from broken homes often grow up blaming themselves for their parent’s well-being. 

At its best, a broken home molds a very responsible—although slightly disturbed—individual, and at its worst, life can be extremely hellish for them. This is what is depicted in Maryjo Paradis-Smith’s July In August, a very harrowing story about a pair of siblings living with a mother who, on good days, might remember she has children. 

Reading this story, I am reminded of my cousin’s childhood in a broken home. While he wasn’t kidnapped by his neighbor like July and her little brother were, his life back then was still horrible. Dealing with a person with an addiction is not easy, let alone being the child of one.

Living as a Child in a Broken Home

Her mother, my aunt, was always a beautiful woman. Even on her bad days, she had long, flowing hair and a smile as warm as the sun. But as both my cousin and I grew older, the ethereality that exuded from her began to crumble. What we had mistaken for cautiousness became evidence of her withdrawn and distant attitude. Sometimes, I wonder even now if she knew who my cousin was. Her eyes, which we thought were bright, were clouded and vacant. She would disappear for hours, and when she returned, she would be agitated and irritable.

One day, when my cousin was about ten years old, we came home from school to find his mother passed out on the couch. I’d been the one to take him from school since my uncle was off on a business trip. I shook her awake, and she looked at me as if I were a stranger. When I asked her what was wrong, she just told me she had taken too many pills. The tone of her voice was like she was simply saying she drank too much coke.

Back then, being a teenager, I didn’t understand what was happening. I don’t completely remember what happened after that, but I recall having called my mother and telling her what was happening. She was very clinical with her response as if this was a common occurrence.

It wasn’t until years later that I came to know my aunt was addicted to pain medication, specifically OxyContin. She was overprescribing on it and would even steal pills from the neighbors and my house. It was terrible. There was a time my cousin almost choked on his food because my aunt forgot to cook it enough.

Moving on from a Broken Home

When my cousin had grown enough to become aware of his broken home, he was desperate to change things. He would pester his mother to change for the better and drag her to rehab multiple times, but there was no step forward with her that involved her getting better. 

She continued to abuse herself, and there came a point where my uncle had to divorce her, taking my cousin away. He was only 16 years old. 

This was a good thing. Separated now from his mother, my cousin began to heal and create a life of his own—away from the influence of his mother. He got a college degree and a job and is now considering proposing to his partner.

The memories of his childhood sometimes still haunt him, and when it does, we talk about it over a few drinks. But they no longer hold him to such a definite degree. I’m proud of what my cousin has accomplished over the years.

If you are living with a drug-addicted parent, please know that you are not alone. There are people, and there are resources available to help you. You can find support groups, therapy, and other services that can help you cope with your situation.

You deserve to be happy and safe. Please reach out for help if you need it.