Relationships are hard to manage, especially when both people have a different set of friends and line of work. They require a great deal of compromises and sacrifices. These are just some of the themes featured on the book I’m currently reading- You Can’t Keep Her: Sequel To Bonita by Carl R. Brush, an unputdownable thriller you shouldn’t miss. Some give up all too easily, but there are a few who know how to work out their differences. Moreover, men and women are opposites regarding decision-making and thought patterns. So how is it possible to maintain a good relationship with one’s partner?

First of all, be present in the moment. For instance, on a dinner date, mobile phones should be put away so that all attention will only be towards the other person. Although this also applies to nights out with friends and family, it is most important for couples who want their relationship to go the distance. Replying to text messages or taking calls during your time together is disrespectful to your partner and could be taken as a sign that being with him is not that important to you. Or that you would rather be someplace else, with someone else. Although this may not be your intention, your date will probably take it this way.

Unless it is extremely urgent, you can return the call later when you are alone.

Secondly, do not miss important dates. We all know what they are – birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, holidays. If the relationship is important, make sure you have all these memorized. Usually, the woman is very particular with these special days. It is a good idea to directly remind your significant other or at least drop hints when the anniversary is nearing. Men should prepare for it by buying flowers and chocolates (aside from a gift) or reserving a restaurant; setting the alarm on the cell phone for important dates does the trick.

In this way, the woman would feel good getting all the attention from her loved one, and at the same time, the man would be proud to have gone the extra mile to make his partner happy.

Thirdly, give each other space. You don’t have to go everywhere together. Let your partner miss you once in a while. For instance, if one of you plays tennis and the other doesn’t, it is impractical to just wait by the courts. There is nothing to do, and it looks awkward unless you enjoy watching the games for hours. Maybe this is the perfect time to go out with friends from work or spend time on a hobby you don’t particularly share. Being away from one another makes you realize how much you want to spend time together. It confirms that you are in the right relationship. Furthermore, it also gives time to plan for future surprises. When a couple goes everywhere, it is difficult for one to organize a get-together without the partner finding out.

Finally, do not expect anything. Usually, it is the expectation that causes one to be disappointed.
When we are eagerly anticipating for our partner to do something for us or give us a particular gift, we are setting ourselves up for frustration. We cannot read each other’s minds, so we are doomed to fail no matter how many hints we have given at every opportunity. Even the simple task of lowering the TV volume when someone is on the phone or answering the door when the other is in the shower should not be expected. Who knows, maybe your partner is doing something just as important that requires as much attention. If we do not expect, we will not be disappointed.

Given that men and women are wired differently, it takes a lot of courage and compromise to keep a relationship healthy and happy. Men are more logical, while women are intuitive. This major contrast alone can spark countless arguments unless both parties understand that it is impossible for them to think in the same way. One thing to keep in mind is that no one gender is better or worse.

We should just accept these differences, not judge them.