Can Men and Women ever just be Friends?

Some long-time relationships sometimes began as being just friends, eventually achieving something more profound – LOVE

A VERY SURPRISING LOW-BUDGETED HIT MOVIE released last July 21, 1989. With a measly budget of only $ 16 million, it went on to gross $ 92.8 million in the U.S. alone. Written by a prolific Jewish Author – a modern-day Jane Austen, who wrote stories about women’s life’s and struggles – based on the life of friends in the movie business.

Harry’s character was based on Film Director Rob Reiner’s return to single life after a divorce. Sally was based on Nora Ephron’s early life as a journalism student in Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. And some of her friends. Reiner went on to direct the film, and brought with him his friend, Billy Crystal, who contributed to the screenplay, as well as beef-up the jokes, and made Harry’s character funnier.

On June 26, 2012, at the age of 71, Nora Ephron died of pneumonia at the Presbyterian Hospital. Married three times, she was a modern and different type of feminist who loved men, but at the same time fought for women’s rights when she participated in a class action against sexual discrimination on the magazine Newsweek when the magazine prevented women from being a reporter, and a writer.

Her idea of feminisms is not about getting in conflict with men and their roles but living life to the fullest, and doing what she enjoys doing, only going against men’s roles if it affected their lives and works. Many of her books were made into films, starring her favorite actress and heroine Meg Ryan, who seem to be the lone thespian who carry out the best characterization of Ephron’s heroine and lead female characters.

This August we will look back to the best-selling book and surprised monumental hit movie When Harry Met Sally, the movie that not only made America fall in love and realize what true love really is, but also casts intrigue on the phenomenal question that occupies the mind of both men and women. Can men and women be really become just close friends? And nothing else.

Old-fashion and traditional men and chauvinistic male bovine strongly says no: because sex gets in the way.

A couple I once knew had a quarrel with his girlfriend because his girlfriend had told things her male friend that she did not tell her boyfriend. The boyfriend was mad and hurt. He ask why? The girls said: I don’t worry whatever I will say to him. It doesn’t matter. But with you, I am careful, because I don’t want to offend or hurt you.

While, many said it is possible, still, it rarely happens. And the few instances that it did, the guy or the girl is gay. Because on the long run both men and women will eventually ask the question: are we ready to take it on the next level. The familiarity and closeness will make them closer than anybody else.

There are even, instances when, men and women marries for the simple reason that they friends. A friend I know coming home from a recent break-up after several years’ absence, decided to get married, thinking its time. When he look around he found his long-time friend still single. After a few dates to catch-up on old times he asks her to marry him. The girl was surprised. But we were never involved with each other before, she said. Because they were dating others, each of them childhood friends of course.

The guy ask, why not? We knew each other since childhood. We were friends, growing up. Our parents knew each other. We know about each other. Families. Friends. Interests. We are both natives of this place. If we do get married, we don’t have to spend time knowing each other. We don’t have to do must adjustment with each other. We are familiar with each other’s attitudes. You are a nice looking girl. I will be a lucky man having you as my wife.

What about love? The girl ask? What about it? The guy asks back? Does it not count in us getting married? Both our grandparents didn’t know each other when they got married. They only met on their wedding day. They had an arrange marriage. Arrange by their parents. But they love each other dearly. And their marriage lasted longer than the young couple who were sweethearts before they got married. I think ours will be the same. And I believe, that you are not a difficult girl to love. And I truly believe that our marriage will be a good one, if we both worked hard to make it a good one.

The girl cried. The following month, all their friends were surprised because they never expected them to marry each other.

Can men and women, then become friends only and nothing else? Maybe, they will start that way. But end up better. Having a much better relationship that will last longer than friendship.